Are you feeling stuck as you're entering that next big phase in your career or in your business? Likely you're encountering Imposter Syndrome. And that's what we're going to be talking about today. I have a guest with me, Jen Grosso, who is a high-performance coach, and she has got all the tips for us to succeed when we are hitting that Imposter Syndrome.
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Welcome to the Breakthrough Mastermind Show. I'm your host, Jen Argue and I facilitate masterminds for women entrepreneurs who want to grow their businesses to help others and create financial independence.
I'm so excited that we have Jen Grosso with us today. She is an attorney turned to entrepreneur and she helps entrepreneurs with high performance so that they can optimize what they're doing and experience success.
So, Jen, I'm so excited that you're here. I am so thrilled to be here. I will say that when I am helping them with their performance, we do look at it in a holistic way. So we go with mind, body, and business, because we at the Boldfire Institute, which is my, the name of my company, we create programs and coaching and consulting for entrepreneurs so that they can optimize what they're doing across the board.
And not just in one particular area. Uhm. And I love that you have an attorney background because I always think attorneys have to have this incredible confidence whether they actually have it or not. It seems like something that you kind of have to exude to succeed at what you do in that career. Is that true?
It's mostly true. There are certainly just like any profession. There are certain facets where you could have a job where you are more hidden and in the background, but very often in order to do well as an attorney, you do need to have that confidence that you can project. Now, what you're also talking about is that deep internal confidence.
And I teach about that all the time. I have been coaching attorneys on their confidence since I swear 1998 and how they can present both in a courtroom or present in front of clients as well. And those presentations, the way that you hold yourself during presentations often has a lot to do with whether or not you're perceived as confident.
How you're generating actual, real internal confidence. And it makes a huge difference in your ability to perform as an attorney. And that translates actually to entrepreneurship. So well, they need the same exact type of confidence that attorneys need. But yes, it's definitely a key factor. [laughs] Yeah. And so, since that time, like you started coaching attorneys and then you became an entrepreneur, and you started serving a broader clientele like executives and other entrepreneurs. Yes. And tell me what you discovered when it came to Imposter Syndrome because that is something I don't think ever goes away. You can tell me what you think, but, you know, it seems to me every time you hit a growth stage that Imposter Syndrome hits because this is your area of expertise. What fills us in on what this is all about?
Absolutely! Imposter Syndrome, I really learned about it was putting a real, a phrase around it, a title around it later on in my coaching, but it was something that I saw very early on back in, you know, the early two thousand while I was working with people, it was coming up where it's, people are afraid that, that they're not really good enough to be doing what they're doing.
And like you said, that comes up when they're doing something new or they feel out of sorts in a new role or in front of a new group of people. And that's something that comes up a lot for attorneys, but certainly for entrepreneurs as well, they need to take that risk and put themselves out there in a way that sometimes you don't need to do that as much when you're in the safety of certain jobs.
Now I will say that Imposter Syndrome affects really anyone who's out there who's high achieving and wants to do well because they are putting themselves out there. They are trying to expand their reach, their skill set, what they're doing in the world. And so it's that newness factor that can bring on the Imposter Syndrome.
Now, what I will say is also fascinating is that some of the people who are at the top of their game in entrepreneurship or any, any high-level profession considered like some of the most famous actors, politicians, athletes, they all talk about how Imposter Syndrome can creep in, even on the things that we should be confident on.
Something that we have a lot of experience, you can still have moments of self-doubt, concern that you don't still have it, concern that maybe you got to where you are right now, and you have all of these accolades or degrees or experience just because you got lucky and you really weren't meant to be there.
And what was amazing to me is that if you are feeling it, you are in good company, because so many others who've done phenomenally well, Olympic athletes, award-winning actors and actresses, best-selling authors, people who are in the C suite have made it all the way to being CEOs of these mega companies will have now admitted that they feel that way too.
Mm, that is amazing. So when you get clients who... I imagine that they come to you and that they're open about this, do you find that, are they like, what is, what am I even doing? How can I do this? I have a program that's very specific for confidence, so when people come into that program, it's called the confidence incubator.
They already have a self-awareness. They want to bolster their confidence. So it's not that they're not confident, they're already confident, but they know they could do better. They wanna go from good to great, mm-hmm or from great to excellent in that particular area. So they may know that their issue very often when someone's coming to me, they want to improve their performance, whether it's on stage or to bring in more leads, whether it's going in on sales conversation, they wanna improve their performance in their business.
And so often find out within that first session or two, that Imposter Syndrome may be contributing to some of their issues. Mm-hmm, and then once I've developed trust with them, they start revealing, these are my true fears, this is the root cause of what's going on. They'll come in and say, I have a lead generation problem, but what really they have is that they're not putting themselves out there to get those leads because they're a little bit fearful or doubtful because Imposter Syndrome is coming in and messing with them a little bit. Yeah. Yeah. So when someone comes to you and says this, what kind of message do you give them as far as how long it's gonna take or is there hope at all?
You know, [laughs] like what, are you just like, no, go home, it's over. [laughs] The very first thing that we do is we talk about, we demystified exactly what I just said. It's so common. It's something that you should expect when you can go in and I talked about mind, body, and business. When we look at the foundational parts, your mind and your body, that's really where Imposter Syndrome is coming in.
It's not a real fact. It's something that relating to the thoughts that you're having. And then sometimes that's resulting in a way that you feel in your body, both emotionally and physically, you may be nervous. You may be feeling more anxious. And so I try to sift out what's going on. Where is it? Is it mostly just in the thoughts?
Is it exhibiting in some nervous behavior? And then how do we address which one is more important first? Usually, we need to work with them in tandem and get them to calm down and work on some habits. Keep them in a, in a much less anxious state, mm-hmm and we work on how their thought process around feeling like an imposter or not good enough how that's impacting them.
And I take them through, um, Byron Katie has a great method of going about and talking about your thoughts that may not be true really? Is that really true? What would be a better thought when we start learning the process to change your thoughts around a particular area that you might not be feeling your best at, and then getting them to see a different perspective and then practice that along with.
The ways of calming down in your body so that you can move into the critical part, which is action and the strategies that they wanna get into. So what we do is we remove Imposter Syndrome as an impediment to taking the action and implementing on the strategies that will get them ultimately to their goal.
Mm-hmm. I love how you're talking about that... it's a holistic approach in that it's both in your mind and your body and you pay attention to both of those things to help get people into action. And so, as I'm thinking about our listener, who's listening in, on our conversation today. What is something practical that you can give her or him who's listening?
That might be able to help them with Imposter Syndrome, just in a very practical type of way. One of my favorite things that I do with my clients is I ask them to create a habit it's best if it's done that daily, but even if it's done weekly, or, you know, every other week that can help them as well. And what it is is to celebrate their accomplishments, celebrate their wins too often, people who are high performers or high achievers and have a lot going on in their world, like all entrepreneurs do, they're focusing on what can I improve? What can I get better at? How do I tweak this or tweak that, not spending enough time reminding themselves how great they are, how they have advanced the ball, how they do have a tremendous amount of experience? And so I have them create whether it's a file or a brag book, something where they can sit back and they can look at and celebrate the wins that they have.
Even seen some that will do it, like instead of a vision board, it's a celebration board and they look at these are all of the amazing things that I've done in my business. So in this particular case, they're business, but of the amazing things that I've done in my business. And what that starts to do is from a neuroscience perspective, is it rewires your brain into reminding you that you are capable, that you have accomplished quite a bit and...
That you can, if you're looking at those on a regular basis, it's reminding you that you have no reason to feel like an imposter. There's a tremendous amount of evidence to back up the truth that you are capable and what you are providing. And putting out there into the world is valuable and valued. Oh my gosh.
That is so good. I think that's such a powerful exercise and I'm just envisioning, you know, making a book like that and having it just sitting on your desk. Absolutely! Having it visible having it, I mean, my planner has in it, like at the bottom of every day, put, you know, something that you accomplish or, you know, a win and at the end of every month, there's another space to do that.
And I love that, but I actually love making it into its own book. Yes. That's such a great idea. Absolutely! A brag book, it can be even a file, but the key here is to make it a habit of looking at it. Again, a daily is amazing. I love that it's in your daily planner. What I find though in daily planners is, and you may be different.
There's definitely people who will do it, but there's a tremendous number of people. Who won't fill that in. They feel like that's the fluffy part. Yeah. Of the journal. Right. What's the... okay... that's great. That's nice. But let me get to work. I want them to make it a commitment to making that a non-negotiable, mm-hmm, it's like, it's not just eating it's... getting in the most nourishing food for yourself. Mm-hmm, just like that. If you liken it to eating, yes. People remember that they need to eat every day, but when they make it a non-negotiable that what they're eating is really nourishing them and healthy for them. That's when they get to that optimized level.
And the same thing applies to our mindset. And really what we're experiencing with Imposter Syndrome is a mindset block, mm-hmm. And if you want to... rid yourself of that mindset block and prevent it from coming in. As often as it might, you really need a daily habit that will counterbalance those thoughts that pop into your brain, mm-hmm.
And I imagine as with any daily habit that we're trying to get into the habit of doing that, it's going to be difficult at first. Yes, it will be a challenge because it's creating something new. It's, we're already trained. We're already in these paradigms about the way that we think. And when we want to change that up, the way that you rewire your brain or rewire your mindset is through repetition and a commitment to that's why I like it daily rather than weekly, but I'll take whatever steps someone is willing to take is amazing.
And when you do that daily and you do that for... the science shows us that it takes 21 days. Mm-hmm, you can make that switch. You asked me how quickly you can make that switch a lot faster. If you do it daily. Yes. Changing your thought process, 21 days. That's just to establish the habit. To really see huge strides is 90 days, 90 days of doing something consistently, including changing your thoughts consistently.
That's when you see the real results and the real impact of what it will bring to you. Mm-hmm, imagine that, imagine a life where your thoughts are more aligned with the actual truth of who you are, right? Yes. And when your thoughts are aligned in that way, your actions. Not only the actions that you're willing to take, but the way that you show up is different and more powerful, and more optimal.
And that's when you get those jumps in performance that make a radical difference in results for you. Oh my gosh. On a personal and a business level, for sure. Right, right. Because we're a whole person that's right. And so everything that we're practicing in our personal life will be generalized into our business life and vice versa.
Yeah, absolutely. It makes huge difference. Yes. Oh, that is so, so good. And I love thinking about the difference that it's going to make in somebody's life. Who's listening to this and... all the change that you're going to bring to entrepreneurs in the world with what you're teaching and coaching people with?
So thank you for doing that. That's such a great, great transformation that you're bringing to people. It is. Thank you so much. Yeah, that's really fun. So, and thank you for sharing that very practical tip. And if people wanted to experience even deeper transformation, when it comes to Imposter Syndrome or confidence, how can people find you and hang out with.
Absolutely. Well on Instagram, I know that's where a lot of your followers are, They can find me @jengrosso.co they can also find me on my website, boldfireinstitute.com, and anyone who's really looking for that kind of bold transformation. One that, where they're getting into that action really, really fast.
And they're getting rid of those mindset blocks very quickly. I have something called the bold moves intensive, and it's really fantastic. And it's, it is an intensive, it's exactly what it means. And I'd love for anyone to reach out. If they're looking for that kind of intense change in their performance. It's great for someone who is finding themselves, held back with Imposter Syndrome and some other things that, some other things are based around fear and a lack of confidence, and it'll change it in just 30 days and get them really, really going quickly. Mm. That's amazing.
Jen, I just loved our time together and I'm so excited about what you're doing. And definitely if you're listening to this, go check her out. Thank you.
And if you are looking for more support, challenge and inspiration in running your online business, I would love to have you apply to my mastermind.
Check it out! @jenargue.com
