This week we celebrated International Women's Day, and there is so much that I want to talk about when it comes to this topic, but I want to keep today's podcast short and I'm going to focus on something that is very highly actionable and practical, so join along.
I'm Jen Argue, I have been leading masterminds for the past five years for six and seven-figure entrepreneurs, and I would love to help you start your own mastermind as well so that you can create a really big impact with those around you and work a lot less and make a lot more at the same.
When it comes to International Women's Day, one of the things that really stands out to me is how amazing women are. Women carry so much of the invisible load, and there is so much that is built into our mindset culturally that is oppressive, that we are constantly fighting. That in order to break free and to experience the freedom in life to be ourselves and fully express ourselves, it takes more than just trudging through and forcing it to make it happen.
I want to share with you three things that are really helpful and really actionable that any of us can do. So number one…now, this seems a little maybe contrary to what I just mentioned, but number one is “Take care of yourself.” Yes, in order to help others it's important that we are taking care of ourselves first. Very similarly to when you're on the airplane and the flight attendant gives that call to us to put on our own oxygen mask first if things go wrong. It's the same concept. So what can you do to take care of yourself? Number one I think that I hear most is that women can take care of themselves better if they implement more boundaries.
Now, where would you put those boundaries in your life? It's really up to you and where it's going to help you most. I feel like we all have someplace where we could improve on our boundaries, whether it's simply our thought life for one are we putting boundaries on the overthinking when it comes to shame spirals or that self-doubt?
I think boundaries when it comes to our thoughts are really important and to be very intentional about what we allow ourselves to think about because our thoughts influence everything, our feelings and our actions, and our results. So putting boundaries on negative spiral-type thoughts I think is a great place to start.
And there are boundaries that we can have with our schedules and with our time and with our relationships, and so whether it's with others or with ourselves, boundaries are a great place to start for self-care. Another way that we can practice self-care is by regularly taking care of ourselves instead of just doing it when the big crisis happens.
So I had a client in my mastermind who had a standing massage appointment every other week with her favorite massage therapist, and she knew no matter what was happening at work that she always had that time with her massage therapist. And another way to take it one step further that was self-care to her was that she made it a practice not to engage in conversation with her massage therapist.
Now everybody's different, but for her…this was a form of self-care because she was usually the one taking care of others and asking how they are and encouraging them in their lives. But for her, this was her time to receive, and so she made it a practice to just not talk and enjoy that time. So having that regular time, whatever it is for you. It might be a massage, it might be taking a nap. It might be taking time to read a book or going for a walk or spending time with a friend, or maybe getting on the phone and talking to somebody close to you. Those standing appointments really do matter.
That reminds me, when I first moved to California, something that I did was I had a weekly standing phone call with one of my friends back in Michigan where I had moved from, and that was a source of comfort to me and a real buffer for the stress that people typically feel when they move, at least I know I did.
So having something built in that's very regular is a great way to take care of yourself and really know what you need and to advocate for your needs. Because the more we can advocate for our needs, the more effective we can be in advocating for others.
The second practical thing you can do is a “Check-In.” A check-in is so underrated when we think about checking in with our fellow women business owners, or our girlfriends, or any woman in our life, it means so much. Seriously, check-ins are so underrated, I can't even believe it. [laughs] It takes so little to actually make that check-in, to reach out to somebody and say, how's it going?
How is that project that you're working on? How is your launch coming along? Just to check-in can mean so much. Women are often lonely as they are working their way to their dreams, to their goals. And to have that check-in is very powerful. It helps women to feel seen, to feel like they're cared about, and it empowers the person that you're checking in on to be braver, to be bolder, to take more risks because there's somebody out there that notices you, and being cared for is so powerful.
So think about this week. Think about today as you're listening to this. Could you reach out to five women? Is there one? But I would say five, you know, you can do it all at once. Just send five texts or DMs to somebody.
And just say you're thinking about them, no strings attached. That alone is going to be so powerful. One little example I have of this is I know somebody who's thinking about moving to a new community, and I said to this person, “Hey, I know somebody in that community let me reach out to them to get the inside scoop on neighborhoods and school systems.”
And so I texted that friend in that new community and they were so excited…to help and to share all the information about schools and communities and where the newer neighborhoods are that might be a little more affordable, you know, whatever details that would help this person. And so I shared it with the person who was thinking about moving, and that was about a month ago, maybe more.
Well, that person who I had reached out to who lives in that new community, just texted me today. “Hey, how's it going? I was thinking about you. Is your friend still thinking about moving to our community? because I would love to share names of contractors that we love.” That was so out of the blue. I wasn't expecting that at all.
And for her to think about me and this person I'm trying to help was incredibly thoughtful. So what does that do for me? That makes me so encouraged and to think that felt so good. I know that if I reached out to somebody else in that sort of way, that person's going to feel good too. Everything is better when we feel good, right?
When we feel like we're in community and we're belonging. I actually happened to reach out to that friend that was thinking about moving to that new community and they were deep in the thought process and just having that moment to process it with me unexpectedly today was something that really lifted her up as well.
And so it can really have a ripple effect that we're not always aware of. Now, I will say masterminds are really great vehicles for this check-in process. It's naturally built into the program. So if you're in a Mastermind, I would really encourage you to take advantage of that. Take advantage of those check-ins that you get with your fellow masterminders and really lean on that sense of community and belonging because it's very powerful.
The third item that you can do to really support and lift up women is the our last concept to the next level. And it's not only checking in, but it's “Cheering them On.” When we see somebody doing something that is just incredible, just amazing, it's not something that should serve to be intimidating to us or discouraging to us.
Instead, it's a sign of what's possible and…to be excited about them is a way for you to really support them because when we get to those points, it's often again. An even lonelier place because there's that intimidation factor and because people might be thinking more about themselves in their *** instead of the other person's abundance.
And yet when we share…in somebody else's abundance, it tends to come full circle, if not in a very tangible way in our lives. At least it does in an intangible way. And really it's not about us. It's about encouraging the other person. This is truly…giving back, it's a way to say, I see you, I support you.
I know what you had to do to get to that point, and remember we talked about the invisible load? We talked about how much women are doing that we rarely can see, or definitely that we rarely acknowledge, for a woman to reach these points of success or accomplishment is truly a thing of beauty. It's truly beautiful and amazing, and acknowledging that is really life-giving…it's so life-giving…
And women don't realize, really, I think until they hit a wall, just how much they've had to give up or how much they had to carry to get to that point. And so acknowledging that really grounds the person who's experiencing that achievement in a way that is just very edifying. It really does build them up, and we need more of that in our lives.
And so who can you reach out to today to say great job? great job…that what you did was amazing and I saw how hard you worked to get there, or how smart you worked to get there. All of it, just acknowledging something that you see in that person is going to be very impactful and probably just as good feeling as the achievement itself.
So think about that who is one person that you can cheer on and when you are cheering somebody on? That shows that you are taking steps in your own self-esteem and self-worth, that it doesn't affect you to cheer somebody else on when they're winning, even if you are maybe in a hard spot yourself. So, to think about how that can actually build yourself up as a side effect isn't all bad. So those are three ways that we can support women.
Number one, put your own mask on first and support yourself…get to know yourself…get to know your needs, and take care of yourself regularly. Number two, check-in. Do those check-ins with people. It doesn't take much and it means so much.
And then cheer the woman on in your life who is achieving things or who needs to be cheered on for the small, diligent, consistent steps that they're taking regularly to keep their business running or to keep doing the things that they're doing in their life because women are carrying a lot and these things really matter.
Thank you so much for listening today. I hope that if you found value in this that you would subscribe to my podcast and share it with a friend and leave a review.
Thank you so much!